In my plain and simple manner I beg a few moments
of your valuable time that I may seek to have myself restored to the place
of confidence I held in your minds previous to the appearance of the article
in the "State" of November 18, 1928. For the truthfulness of this matter I have
the witness of as reliable people as are to be found in the reliable citizenship
of the town of Lydia. This is dedicated
to the public at large and to my fellow statesmen and doubting Thomases, among
who are Wade H. Hicks, W.C. Clyburn, Sheriff Register, Rufus M. Josey, D.
R. Coker, Dr. L. B. Hines, Rev. W.H. Morgan, C.D. Lee, T.F. Tate, Dr. Egleston,
Lewis Beasley, and Pete Mclendon and others.
P. S. Now that four years have passed into history
since this occurrence, only Wade Hicks, Charles Sligh, and Truett have any
doubts in the matter.
In setting forth as best I can this defense of
my veracity that I might escape being consigned to the Annianias Club, I shall
confine myself as heretofore to unassailable truths, among which are these
that on or about or among the first month of 1928 my far sighted fellow townsman
B.S. Josey ‑ in consequence of the various vicissitudes and bugs ‑
realizing that to his very extensive planting operations it was necessary
to add dairying and the raising of the purest blood of Guernsey cattle. So, it being a characteristic of his to have
the very best or nothing, he set forth to stock in the very best that could
be found. In his researchings on cowology,
it became very apparent to him that a good sire was much to be desired and
so he procured what is well known to us lydiaites as big Joe. To more fully understand the situation it becomes
necessary to say that this Bovine Beast possesses all of the ferocious qualities
that the mind can imagine would be concomitant with such an animal.
He was simply monarch of all he surveyed, and much to be dreaded, as
he would daily exercise his lordship, defying both the man and animal kingdom.
Now scarcely would Joe allow his weaker bretherin
of the herd to pasturize with him. So
on this beautiful fall day when the leaves of the trees were gradually losing
their beautiful green and assuming a golden hue, he alone was in his accustomed
place with nothing separating him from the highway save a wire fence.
We of the Southland are familiar with the Circus that has for so long
visited our borders at the season of the year 
to
delight the hearts of the Negro, and some that are not Negro, with its various
species of animals to attract and amuse mankind. Joe evidently had never attended nor was he
desirous of attending a circus, so as this circus had finished its stay in
the county seat of Lee County, SC and was quietly passing thru Lydia on its
way to a more city like town of Hartsville.
Joe, unlike Zacheous, had climbed no tree that he might have a clear
view but he did see ‑ and when he did suddenly look up and beheld a
large elephant very near to him, he simply fainted.
He did. It was no partial stroke.
He didn't simply fall to his knees; he lay flat on the earth as if
embraced in the icy arms of death.
to
delight the hearts of the Negro, and some that are not Negro, with its various
species of animals to attract and amuse mankind. Joe evidently had never attended nor was he
desirous of attending a circus, so as this circus had finished its stay in
the county seat of Lee County, SC and was quietly passing thru Lydia on its
way to a more city like town of Hartsville.
Joe, unlike Zacheous, had climbed no tree that he might have a clear
view but he did see ‑ and when he did suddenly look up and beheld a
large elephant very near to him, he simply fainted.
He did. It was no partial stroke.
He didn't simply fall to his knees; he lay flat on the earth as if
embraced in the icy arms of death.To the truthfulness of this fact we have no proof
to offer other than several eye witnesses, among whom are as reliable as are
to be found in the reliable town of Lydia, and furthermore that the same restorative
treatment on being administered to him ‑ namely, aromatic spirits of
ammonia and Digitalis as are administered to persons who faint ‑ acted
admirably in this case. And again
Joe stood on his feet and as stated in the article when coming to himself
‑ unlike Saul of Tarsus ‑ did not ask, "What wilt thou have
me do?" but upon getting his bearings made a very hasty retreat to the
innermost seclusions of the cow barn. Since
this time, he has not seemed at all like his former self and should he continue
under the seemingly depressed condition he will doubtless soon be made into
beef, notwithstanding the efforts that have been made to restore him to his
previous state of health and servitude. The owner of this herd of Guernsey cattle is
not to be intimidated by this backset to the upbuilding of a purebred herd.
Nor by any other cowological factors that might enter into the construction
of his worthy undertaking.
The remarkable incidents being so peculiarly true
in its nature and being so far separated from the ordinary Bovine tendencies
was taken up in daily newspapers throughout the country as far away as California.
The only feasible explanation yet advanced by those who have made a
special study of this stroke of pathological phenomena of Guernsey Cattleology
is that this special breed is of a high mentality and that this Bull was probably
at this instance meditating his sins of commission in dealing with his coworkers
of this herd and being suddenly confronted by this elephant, such an animal
as he did not believe existed and does not yet believe really exists, was
overwhelmed by a sense of remorse.
The complete loss of this valuable animal must
be sustained entirely by its owners,
whom we understand were the Josey Herd of Lydia
and the Pedigreed Seed Farm Herd of Hartsville ‑ because this elephant
was entirely innocent of offense;
was traveling at a legal rate of speed, properly
lighted and tagged and was behaving in a legitimate manner in every respect.
Since the elapse of six years filled with momentous
incidents some of those who doubted the absolute truthfulness of this cowological
peculiarity at the time of the happening have passed on to the land of the
great beyond to where the chief articles of diet are milk and honey and ‑
we imagine ‑ probably the milk from a Guernsey herd. Still our good friends Clyburn and Truett insist
that the coincident of that peculiar fall day be rehashed so that herdsmen
of coming generations might know that Guernsey Bovines have a peculiar timidity
of conscience. During these passing
years the Josey and Coker Guernsey herds have continued to build themselves
into a successful herniotomy, the credit for which should be placed just where
it belongs ‑ to big Joe ‑ who has also long since passed ‑
necessarily on account of his further uselessness for anything except a plow
animal ‑ to where all good cows go when they die.
Dr. B.G. Pitts